Gargantuan Dreams and the Little Hopes
I wish I was laid back. I wish I was so laid back I could tip right over. I’m not. As a person I’m highly ambitious. Enough is never enough because for every enough there’s a new raising of the bar. This may sound cool, but it’s not. It means never being satisfied and no, I’m never satisfied. There’s always a new peek to climb to. There’s always a new ‘enough’ to push past.
In actuality, this can be great if you’re aspiration is to change the world. And yes, mine is, even if it’s only one person at a time. I’m an IT guy. A cubicle bound desk jockey. The reality of my life is I work. I love my company and the people I work with, but the reality is, I don’t make anybody’s life better with what I do. My goal is to make the world better, not just earn a pay check so I can then retire and sit in front of television or live out my golden years on the links. The truth is, I don’t even like golf.
My golden years are now. This is my time, my chance to change it up and be a catalyst for difference and not just the oil making an already well lubricated machine keep functioning. When I die, if I look all used up and broken down, I’m succeeded. I’ve lived the life I was meant to live. I made the difference I was intended to make.
My aspirations are to be a relationship and sexual wellness therapist. It’s a huge goal because as of now I’m sitting here writing with a B.S. in information and technology and management. How do I make this switch? The program I’m looking at is actually two masters’ degrees and costs about 95 thousand dollars just to make what I actually make now. Is it worth it? Shit yes!
But it’s a gargantuan undertaking. I have to work fulltime while working fulltime striving for not one but two master’s degrees at the same time. What’s the solution? Tiny bites. Life and wellness coaches call this chunking down but I hate jargon. It sounds great, but in reality, it’s in one ear and out the other. No change takes place without an action plan on which you actually take action.
To me, this frequently means making somebody else accountable for my actions so I follow through. By this I mean my morning routine is waking up at 5 AM and if I don’t, I have to give somebody I’m accountable to something. Frequently money. I hate losing money and this makes me stay true to my plan. You can take this on face value, but underneath the surface, this means you have to be honest with yourself and honest with another. Not everybody can do this. A bee’s sting hurts, but if you insulate yourself by never going out to smell the flowers, you won’t be stung, but you’ll also never experience nature’s glory.
As for me, I’m a huge Nine Inch Nails fan and I’ve been listening to the song Copy of A recently. And I realized, with my current projection in my IT field, I am just a copy of a copy. If I take my goal of going back to school and figuring out the details and getting it done. I’m still just a copy of a copy, but I’m a copy of a copy I hope to be. Just because it’s been done before doesn’t mean it’s not worth doing again.
The hard part is taking this gargantuan goal and slicing it up into pieces I can achieve. One of the things I’ve learned is there’s a little hope in the little goals. I don’t have to tackle the world today. I can take it one step at a time and all those little hopes will result in me having more hope of the other little hopes to come.
Take this for what it is. It’s a message that you can round yourself and crew up in a huddle ready for battle and ready to take on the world, but what you’re reading is just words. Words mean nothing until you put them into action. I hope you understand all that is necessary is the little amount of hope needed to complete a little task. Give it a shot. Is this really going to hurt you?
